O Biclops, Where Art Thou?

"O Biclops, Where Art Thou?" is the fourth episode of the first season of the comedic sword and sorcery series Kröd Mändoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire. It originally aired on Comedy Central in the United States on April 23, 2009. The episode was written by Chris Briggs and Peter A. Knight, and directed by Alex Hardcastle. In "O Biclops, Where Art Thou?” Kröd and Aneka seek a stolen diamond from a bisexual cyclops in order to join the ranks of an elite resistance council, and Dongalor tries to capture the heart of his kidnapped villager girlfriend.

== Plot ==  Freedom fighter Kröd Mändoon (Sean Maguire) and his friends try to conduct a raid on an Imperial wagon to help the Resistance's ailing finances, but they are unsuccessful when the group can't stop bickering about their Casual Friday attire (Zezelryck is unhappy about Loquasto wearing assless chaps, while Aneka is furious at the fact Krod expects her to wear a chastity belt). While they are arguing, they are interrupted by the warlock Grimshank (John Rhys-Davies) and Ralph Longshaft (James Murray), the swordsman who previously saved Kröd and Aneka (India de Beaufort). They invite Kröd and Aneka to join the freedom-fighting Elite Resistance Council if they can retrieve the valuable Bloodstone of Alluvia diamond from the lair of an evil Cyclops.



 The group arrives at the Cyclops' lair, but instead of a terrifying monster, they find a decadent creature named "Cy" (Jonathan Slinger) who wears bikini briefs and offers the fighters snacks and mojitos in his hot tub. Cy insists his bloodthirsty father was the one who stole the diamond, but that he did not approve of his father and would let the group have the diamond. Kröd agrees to some quick cocktails (despite Zezelryck's bad feeling about the whole thing), and they all play a game of Truth or Dare? in the hot tub, where Cy admits he is a bisexual Cyclops, or "biclops", and Aneka admits she has had sex with a troll (prompting an angry Kröd to ask if there is anywhere she draws the line). When Kröd insists it's time to leave, Cy pulls a switch and traps the freedom fighters in a cage, where he plans to 'sex them to death' and make more furniture for his cave from their skeletons. However, Aneka distracts Cy by getting intimate with Kröd long enough for him to retrieve a throwing star from her underwear, and Kröd throws it into Cy's forehead.



 Kröd and the group escape tie CY to a chair and take the diamond. CY apologizes and explains since his breakup with "Lisa and Chad" that "I've been such a man whore, humping and eating everything in sight." Kröd and Aneka return the diamond to the Elite Resistance Council, where Grimshank confirms its authenticity and Longshaft welcomes them to the council. Later, Longshaft tells Kröd he planned to ask Aneka to spend the weekend with him, but wanted Kröd's permission due to their romantic past. Kröd approves of the idea, insisting "men-ches before wenches", but appears visibly jealous when Longshaft and Aneka ride off together...especially when he learns what Aneka's taking with her.



 Meanwhile, the evil Chancellor Dongalor (Matt Lucas) and his advisor Barnabus (Alex MacQueen) set off to steal back Dongalor's girlfriend (Remie Purtill-Clarke), a peasant girl he had previously kidnapped from a village, who has been taken by the emperor's nephew. Dongalor finds her and tells her he plans to use the Eye of Gulga Grymna, an ancient weapon, to kill Emperor Xanus and steal his crown, and he wants her by his side. He proposes and she agrees, but as the two rides off together in their carriage, she begins coughing blood. Dongalor realizes she has the plague, but insists he will get medical help for her. She dies a brief time later; her tombstone is marked simply, "Cute Girl". Later, while Dongalor mourns in his castle, Barnabus cheers him up by bringing him the Bloodstone of Alluvia. Barnabus does not explain how he got it, but Dongalor recognizes it as the lens of the Eye of Gulga Grymna, a key to unleashing the weapon's power.